Several Non-Dramatic Sketches of Trip to Edinburgh, November 2012 including, but not limited to, Angela’s best lines

Setting: The Hub, ground floor, on a couch

Characters: Angela, Kelsey, Lily, Boy in suit

Scene: Boy in suit and tie walking by, sees Kelsey lying down on the couch with scarf over face

• Boy: somebody had too much fun
• A & L: ...Yeah
• K: No
• -silence-
• Boy: Where are you guys from?
• L: We all go to Irvine.
• A: Where are you from?
• Boy: I go to Galway.
• L: In Ireland--
• A: Where’s that?
• Boy: That’s in Ireland. West Coast.
• L: Is it in the countryside?
• Boy: Not really. If you go outside the city you see the hills and green and...
• A: Do you see cows?
• Boy: Yeah, lot of cows--
• A & Boy: and sheep!
• Boy: There are so many sheep there. Almost nothing else.
• A: Did you see...um...ducks?
• K: -gargles beneath the scarf covering her face-

Setting: Outside the Hub, waiting for bus

Characters: Angela, Lily

Scene: late at night, after dinner/dance, in the cold in dresses

• L: -shivers violently-
• A: so this is how it’s going to feel when I’m a hobo

Setting: Every place we visited

Characters: Kelsey

Scene: misc.

• K: I love meat.
• K: I love dogs.

Setting: Irrelevant/I forgot

Characters: Angela, Lily, Kelsey

Scene: I FORGOT

• K: I’m going to die young.
• A: You’re going to die with a barbecue rib and a Sprite in your hand

Setting: Ground-floor, Ivy Guest House

Characters: Lily, Kelsey, stranger

Scene: Lily is getting ready to shower shortly after checking in

• L: I’m going to shower
• K: k
• L: -walks to bathroom, sets things down, prepares, and can’t turn water on-
• S: -tries to open door loudly and several times-
• L: -puts things back on and runs back to room defeated-
• K: -looks up from computer-
• L: someone tried to get into the bathroom while I was in there
• L: and I couldn’t turn the water on
• L: -cries silently-

Setting: everywhere

Characters: Angela

Scene: misc.

• A: Sorry! I’m sorry!
• Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Setting: everywhere

Characters: Angela and Lily

Scene: misc.

• A: I am going to be an old cat lady with lots of cats
• L: I love cats
• A: I’m going to have a lot of them when I’m old
• L: I love cats
• A: When we’re old cat ladies wanna move in together and live in Edinburgh?
• L: Yeah

Setting: on couch, long after Boy in suit has left

Characters: Kelsey, Lily, Angela

Scene: Kelsey and Lily gang up on Angela for asking about ducks

• L: -laughing uncontrollably-

• K: Did you see DUCKS?

• A: Why did I ask about ducks? What made me think of ducks?
• L: -laughing uncontrollably-
• A: I think I thought of food, and then I thought of ducks.
• L: -laughing uncontrollably-
• K: That doesn’t make sense!
• A: We do have ducks at home...ehehehehehehehehheheheh
• K: I’m going to ask you that every time you come back from some place. After you go to the store-- ‘Hey, Angela...did you see ducks?’ and when you come back from the shower-- ‘Hey, Angela...did you see any ducks?”
• A: I--
• K: We have ducks at home, they have nothing to do with Ireland--
• A: We see sheep at home, too--
• L: Only at fairs. And they small, skinny, creepy sheep.
• -silence, semi-drunk laughter from A&L-
• K: Did you see any ducks?